Better life 1 : be yourself
Ξ January 8th, 2008 | → | ∇ Bonheur, Reflexion |
Being yourself means believing in you.
Being yourself means to listen and to understand what you are, what you are not, what you really want, not what friends, family or society dictates what you want to or what you should do.
Rollo May writes in Man’s Search for Himself that “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice…it is conformity.”
According to the dictionary, conformity is “..action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc. … compliance or acquiescence; obedience…”.
Mr. Keating, in the extraordinary movie the Dead Poets Society, illustrates the dangers of conformity by telling his students to walk freely in the schoolyard. Each student walks away in his way of doing so, and in the direction he chooses. But, after a while, all the students gather and then walk in the same direction, at the same pace, like soldiers. One group, one rhythm, one thought.
It is important to understand who benefits from conformity, as we live in a in society with conflicting ideas and powers. Conformity benefits conservative minds, those opposed to change. “We should not change. It works already. “,” Why start a business? You have a good job! “,” Becoming an actor is insane, do not even think about that! “,” Doing research is useless. We already have what we need.”,” Why Innovate? “,” Why change? ”
Conservative minds believe that too much freedom leads to chaos. This vision of the world has its origins in refusing to trust others. That is why they are continuously adding rules. For example, in families (through prohibitions), in business (authoritarian rules) and in our own society (conservative politics).
There is a Talmudic discussion around the proverb Im ein ani li, mi li? It means If I do not take care of myself, who will take care of me? In other words, we have the freedom of choice, but by choosing something, or by rejecting it, we need to know what it is and why do we do it.
The purpose of this post is to understand, to grasp, to think, to remind you (and myself), why being yourself is so important, in order to have a better life. Without denying it is hard to win its own trust, its own confidence, everyone has the choice to find out who he is and to become himself. Because, nobody else can do that for you, instead of you. I think that choosing the path of conformity, which may give you the impression of control and power of your life, is ephemeral. Conformity leads only to mediocrity, to the feeling of a missed life, to failure.
Better life is a matter of choice. Being happy is a matter of choice. And being yourself is a fundamental key in achieving it.
Learn more:
- Why being yourself matters : lifehack, probably one of the best sites I’ve met.
- Dead Poets Society : essay of Steven C. Scheer.
on January 23rd, 2008 at 9:39
[...] believe that the decision to live better represents 50% of the way to go towards the goal. The remaining 49% are in the attitude (and 1% in [...]